Stages of emotions

Watching dramas/movies with happy endings used to be one of my hobbies. I had to be constantly fed with such fantasies to be reminded that ever afters do exist. I had never given up hope on finding my dream partner, well..at least..subconsciously. I wanted to continue believing the Disney fairy tales I have watched since young and that true love was the most precious thing on Earth.

But as time goes by, there were periods of ups and downs, when in love, fucking deeply in love, when in pain, excruciating. I guess you need to play with fire to learn that it is wrong and fatal. Overplayed and got burnt.

I thought I've been through a lot but when I met new people, listened to new stories, I knew my experience wasn't the worst. In fact, it was considered meagre. I heard therapies, suicide thoughts and different stages of emotional turmoil. I might have gone through th stages but it weren't as intense as I heard they were. Leaving the therapies and the constant suicide thoughts out, I might just as well consider myself a lucky chap.

Okay, too much digression, the point is, I feel like my past has partially define my present, more realistic, in an ugly term, pessimistic.

I somewhat wished that alien guy from my love from another star did not return to Earth and had gone back t his homeland for good, leaving his one and only true love behind sobbing with a wrenched heart or died on Earth due to the unbalanced law of nature. I thought my preferred ending was more realistic and not mind-fucking viewers that happy endings do exist. I mean such shits really happened t me lol so I thought maybe I should learn t live w it.

This drama made me realised how pessimistic I have become and that I should learn t practice a little positivity in life. Not all aliens are bad, not all dickheads can be dickheads forever, not all sluts can open their vaginas for every man..yeah somewhere around that line.
When there's happiness, there will be a price, and its how much you are willing to pay to attain that and how worthy it is to pay.

Differentiating between sustaining and overly giving is one thing as well. When there's no risks in investment, there's no room for profiting. Th amount of risks depends on the projected profits of the investment. And the biggest challenge is to measure the projected profits of an investment. Such is life...